Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
It was like getting head from an anaconda
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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