i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
