Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
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I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
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He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
that is very illegal...i love you.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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