I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
