just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
