my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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