Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize