Midget sex pt 2 tonight
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
NoShamevember. You game?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
