well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
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Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize