i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
