Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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