Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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