the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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