What did we do last night that was yellow?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
