Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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