i just had sex bonerless
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
