I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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