Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
