she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize