listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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