idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
