Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize