i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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