does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
