your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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