u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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