I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
