I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
