Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
