Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
thus making me awesome and them whores
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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