YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize