I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
