you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Randomize
