Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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