we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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