I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
How's work?
Spinning.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
