I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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