Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
