i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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