Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
