How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
