I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
