i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
