took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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