Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
