I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
