can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
