Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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