i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
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it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
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I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My vagina is officially offended.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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