good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
i believe in u and ur pee
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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