how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
