Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
