my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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