The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
