that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
