Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
