I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
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