my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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