ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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