Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
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The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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