I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
