Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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