people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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