Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
