I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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