Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
