I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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